Version 1.0
It is my firm opinion
that all the current and previous books on love will have to be rewritten.
Or rather, they will all be disposed of via the trashcan for intellectual
junk.
The essence of knowledge
is engineering. If we can make it, we know it.
Love, being in love (which
is not the same), longing, jealousy, desire, bliss, satisfaction and
all the other emotions associated with love are really just expressions
of specific neurochemical processes or neuromolecular constellations.
Obviously, materialistic
philosophers have preached this for hundreds of years. But whether one
would subscribe to their explanations was largely a matter of believe-it-or-not.
It used to be like listening
to a physicist's explanation of why the transmission of sound through
cable should theoretically be possible. How much more convincing is
it to pick up the telephone and do a long-distance call.
Once it will be possible
to engineer emotions with precision, esoteric explanations about them
will be regarded as poetry or as nonsense, but definitely no longer
as science or philosophy.
Wait a moment. We are
already there. Though the techniques still lack calibration, we already
can reliably engineer specific emotions. Fear, for example, with anxiogenic
drugs. Or relaxation and calmness with sedatives. We can, with the application
of specific pharmaceuticals, gain a person's trust far easier than with
sweet promises and good deeds. It can be achieved with many a barbiturate,
though the effect may not last.
Actually, whether through
the application of specific barbiturates or through the combination
of sweet promises and good deeds... if we want to gain the trust of
a particular person, we will have to provoke specific neurochemical
processes in that person's brain. Yes, even a simple sentence such as
"I love you" has to be encoded in a specific neurochemical process to
exert its effect on the person who gets to hear it.
Much of the control mechanism
for our emotions rests with neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are
chemicals that act at the points where nerve cells connect with each
other. The prevalence, or the presence or absence of specific amounts
of neurotransmitters, as well as the density of receptor sites for specific
neurotransmitters at nerve endings, will control to a wide extend the
emotions to which we are subject.
Of special importance
are the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin, a pair of neuroactive
agents that somehow keep each other in check (just like testosterone
and estrogen of the hormonal system, or the sympathetic and parasympathetic
autonomous nervous systems).
Roughly, dopamine is
associated with agitation, and serotonin with relaxation. (This is a
very rough characterization indeed; but the aim of this essay is not
so much to educate the reader in the field of neurochemistry but rather
to generate some awareness for the rather prosaic basis of esoteric
sentiments.)
The level at which we
feel emotionally united with the rest of mankind depends on the dopamine
/ serotonin balance of our brains much more than it does on philosophical
insight. People with a sufficiently high level of serotonin usually
tend to emphasize common ground and altruistic motives, while characters
primarily driven by dopamine tend to be more egoistic in nature (they
probably are also more sexualized). Thomas Hobbes and philosophers such
as the German Max Stirner who established selfishness as the philosophy
of egoism in principle analyzed their own low serotonin levels rather
than the essence of mankind.
Future generations will
have a free choice among philosophies and value systems, not so much
based on intellectual considerations but by mixing their own cocktails
of serotonin and dopamine enhancers.
Actually, raising levels
of serotonin can treat many states of psychological complications, not
just depression. Schizophrenia as well as obsessive-compulsive disorders
respond favorably to raising serotonin levels, primarily through SSRIs
(selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors).
On the other hand, the
strength at which we feel our desires depends to a good extent on sufficiently
high levels of dopamine.
I admit that I have much
more experience with dopaminergic agents than I do with serotonin agonists.
The reason is the specific reward system that I have installed in my
life. As I have previously outlined, I am very much centered on experiencing
ever better sex. It's really the only thing that counts for me, and
my interest in love primarily results from my experience that sex in
a love relationship is so much more gratifying than casual sex, provided
the love relationship doesn't drag along for too long a time.
While I have devoted
a lot of time studying purely psychological techniques of engineering
love, I am a firm believer in the pharmacological route. I apply psychological
methods primarily because pharmacological methods on hand today are
still so crude (apart from possibly being illegal).
Using dopaminergic agents
on myself, I basically heighten desire, because satisfaction is all
the deeper the higher desire has first been.
One dopaminergic agent
I have applied a number of times is bromocriptine (marketed by Sandoz
as Parlodel). I have had truly memorable orgasms on bromocriptine. I
have, on bromocriptine, experienced pre-orgasmic states of desire that
were high enough for climaxes to happen almost by themselves (though
in the arms of a young beautiful woman). Unfortunately, that extraordinarily
positive effect of bromocriptine has been wearing off the more often
I used it, so after some 30 applications, I decided to interrupt bromocriptine
usage.
For the longest, I have
used yohimbe and yohimbine (yohimbine being the active ingredient in
yohimbe). Though an old medications, used for centuries, yohimbe is
not fully researched. The medical literature emphasizes that yohimbine
blocks presynaptic alpha-2-adrenergic receptors which results in increased
blood flow to the sex organs, and reduced outflow.
But only now, journal
articles are appearing, which attribute specific dopaminergic effects
to yohimbine. Based on animal model experiments, it has been concluded
that yohimbine application not only effects erections but also the duration
of satiation periods between events of copulation. The reoccurring of
sexual desire of course is largely effected by dopamine activity in
the brain.
While research into the
dopaminergic aspects of yohimbine is still sketchy, it has long been
known that yohimbine is an anxiogenic agent, meaning to say that it
can be pharmacologically used to induce fear. Whether this works on
the dopamine / serotonin axis or through other pathways that currently
haven't been sufficiently researched, it seems obvious that yohimbine
is somehow a serotonin antagonist. I know of cases in which users of
yohimbine had to be treated with SSRIs for anxiety symptoms.
Obsessive-compulsive
disorder is yet another psychologically problematic state of mind that
is related to insufficient serotonin activity.
And now a somehow surprising
loop: from the psychiatrist's perspective, excessive jealousy is but
an obsessive-compulsive disorder, a pathological condition (or in common
speak, a disease). Excessive jealousy shares many of the manifestations
of, for example, an obsession to wash one's hand, and wash them again,
and wash them again.
Of course, in psychiatry
and psychology, a person's characterics, including one's disposition
for jealousy, become a pathological condition only if they are beyond
what is considered reasonable. But at the end of the day, it's all just
a matter of degrees. If a clear insufficiency in serotonin levels is
associated with excessive jealousy, then slight jealousy should be regarded
as a state of mildly, or temporarily, insufficient serotonin levels.
In a wider context, excessive
jealousy is not only associated with a deficiency in serotonin levels
but also with excessive sexual desire. Everyone who has ever been really
jealous knows that jealousy has a profound effect on sexual desire and
potency. You'll go for ten rounds a day if you are jealous enough...
provided you can be with the person for whom you feel jealousy.
Jealousy makes for a
unique kind of love. You can be in a happy relationship for years, and
you may even find it refreshing to secretly have, every now and then,
sex not just with your spouse. But when you find out that your wife
or husband had a lover, and you turn jealous, you suddenly desire just
your spouse, and nobody else.
Which love is more real?
The sedate one you felt for years, or the painful one you feel when
you are jealous? Some people say that true love is when you do not desire
anybody else but only the loved person. But I'm not so sure about this.
One thing I am sure about, though, is the correlation of jealousy and
monodirected desire. A really jealous person will have a hard time (and
no hard-on) to go for substitutes. But is the degree of jealousy a measure
for love, or just for a specific kind of serotonin deficiency, brought
about by the neurochemical encoding of feeling the danger to lose a
person one has learned to depend on?
The disposition for jealousy
to a considerable extent depends on a specific person's genetic settings
for his or her neurochemical mix. An event one person cares little about
may throw another one into rages of jealousy. People used to classify
lovers as 'a jealous kind of person' or one who isn't. People's genes
already determine set points for jealousy.
However, several factors
outside of a person's genetic character settings will also play a role.
The cultural background, for example (which nevertheless will have to
be encoded on a neurochemical level in order to be of relevance). Is
the behavior that makes a spouse jealous strongly considered taboo,
or is it socially permitted?
Furthermore, can you
reasonably feel right to be jealous? If you have proof that your partner
has slept with somebody else, your jealousy may take another form, compared
to one just based on suspicion, or the kind of jealousy you feel because
your partner doesn't pay enough attention to you. If indeed, your partner
has slept with somebody else, you may faster add some elements of hate,
and you may be closer to terminate the relationship for realistic reasons
(you may realistically not want to trust, or depend on, a person who
has already cheated on you). You may find a faster way out of a specific
relationship if you have realistic reasons to terminate it, and your
suffering, though intense, may come to an end a bit faster.
(The reminder of this
essay is still in "beta". I include it nevertheless.)
Jealousy can be extremely
hurting. It's one of the strongest emotional pains you can experience.
And it can take weeks and months of psychotherapeutic consultation to
treat the wounds of jealousy. You can also get out of jealousy pain
much quicker by swallowing some SSRIs.
Managing psychological
pain is a bit like managing headaches. You can meditate and direct yourself
into "forgetting" your headache by engaging in a favorite pastime. You
can also take an aspirin.
Though psychological
pain such as jealousy has been immune to pharmaceutical treatment until
a few years ago, it can now be managed quite well.
I have mentioned on many
occasions that I have continuously preferred to mess with my neurotransmitter
homeostasis in favor of elevated dopamine levels. And I want to share
with my readers what I believe is an interesting observation.
Some months back, I have
suddenly been hit by an episode of extreme jealousy. Amazingly enough,
the object of this jealousy has been a person with whom I have had a
non-exclusive sexual relationship for some two years. During these two
years, I have never assumed that this exceptionally beautiful young
woman would have had a sexual relationship exclusively with me. I also
really didn't care about it.
My jealousy started out
on some shared sexual fantasies. Now, I'm no stranger to shared sexual
fantasies, and I discuss them with a partner precisely for the purpose
of turning on not only me but my partner as well. That my partner joins
in enjoying the sexual fantasies I present usually does not make me
jealous.
But it rather suddenly
happened with the person in question. And it let me into a vicious circle.
Once jealous, I became investigative. And to no surprise, I found proof
of sexual relationships apart from the one with me. That, of course,
made me all the more jealous.
I responded with the
typical set of reactions, feeling heartsick and extremely sexualized
at the same time. I suffered from it and enjoyed it at the same time
for several weeks, and then I turned it off with an SSRI.
I have often wondered
what actually has happened. I am scientifically minded. I don't believe
I have been bewitched. At the same time, what has happened was rather
strange. I really wasn't in love with this person for some two years
prior to the sudden emergence of jealousy. I knew that I wasn't the
only one.
Having thought it over,
I now credit my rather continuos use of yohimbine. Yohimbine really
isn't just a presynaptic alpha-2-adrenergic receptor blocker. It's a
psychopharmacologic drug, though a rather subtle one. I do believe that
it effects the balance of dopamine and serotonin, but not in a wholesale
manner. It may be receptor-specific or otherwise act very pointedly.
And it also makes for
some strange choices. At the early stages of my yohimbine usage, I have
once had a young woman visiting me, and to enhance my experience, I
ingested a rather generous helping of yohimbe. I sure had a world-class
erection... but absolutely no interest in the person I was with. Rather,
my imagination was absolutely fixed on a particular other woman I had
casually met the day before but at that time didn't consider a worthwhile
prey. I sure had a great climax, but the young woman who was sleeping
by my side (indeed sleeping, just sleeping) had no role whatsoever in
it, not physically, not psychologically.
It has long been known
that yohimbine can be used to induce anxiety. Based on my own experience,
I now suggest as hypothesis that yohimbine as psychopharmacologic agent
also has the potential to induce obsessive compulsive disorders related
to sexual behavior, or, a level below that, that obsessive compulsive
disorders related to sexual behavior are a potential side effect of
continuous yohimbine usage.
Apart from that, I wonder
what role yohimbine could play as a tool in the engineering of love.
I actually do like the women with whom I have sexual relationships to
feel a certain degree of jealousy for me. For the sake of pleasure,
there should be some elements of Romeo and Juliet. Can it be engineered
by first feeding some yohimbine, and then, by the time her jealousy
becomes a disturbance, can it be turned off by supplementing some Prozac?
