I'd say, that's pretty much an ideal constellation where she will take on a secret lover. The point is, she's too comfortable. She feels on top of the world. Sure, she loves you. Or, in fact, she may just think that, well, you're an OK guy. No, she's not blindly devoted to you. Nor are you blindly devoted to her. Be honest. You yourself wouldn't let pass unused an opportunity to have a relationship on the side.

An amazing thing about love and sex is that you yourself may think that your sideline business is of no major importance. Every now and then, you screw one here, and you screw one there, and it may even be for a few times, and you seriously think that this is no threat to the steady relationship you're in. But if she does the same thing, and you find out, yeah, then you're really hurt. Your heart screams: how could she do this to you? How could she, on Sunday morning, spend two or three hours in your embrace, have two climaxes, tell you how much she loves you, and then, while you are out buying some groceries, call her other man and tell him that she misses him?

Fact is: she can. Just as you can. Each of you is just a string of egoistic DNA. You can hurt at the blink of an eye, and forget about the consequences… while the person who is hurt can suffer indefinitely.

To illustrate the discrepancy between how the hurting person is at ease with just deriving a little pleasure, while the hurt person so suffers, consider the following scene from the Pol Pot years in Cambodia. When young Khmer Rouge troops had hunted down whom they considered enemies of the revolution, they occasionally tied up a number of victims, and, while these prisoners were still alive, cut out their livers and ate them, raw, in front of them.

Or I remember a nightmare I once had about Queen Cleopatra. I imagined that eating human males' penises, cut into small pieces, pulled onto a skewer, and barbecued over charcoal, was one of her favorites. So, about every second day, the chef and his aides would round up two or three young palace servants, and castrate them, just for the sake of preparing a meal for the queen.

Fuck it. Why couldn't she eat some wholesome vegetables? Just for the pleasure of eating a juicy piece of meat, a pleasure that last a few minutes and is not a major one after all, she ruins the life of a palace servant… not just for the day she has his penis for dinner, but to the end of his days.

Your wife, she'd be a Cleopatra if she'd have an opportunity. Just as you would be Nero.

That comfortable little love relationship you're in is just an illusion. The illusion in it is "love". In reality, you're just a length of territory for her. She'll add other properties if she can get them for a bargain.

There is no such thing as comfortable, relaxed love. Real love ALWAYS is suffering. You want her dedicated to you, and only to you. You don't want a girl that could enjoy being available to another man. You want her to think about you from morning to …. no, not just to evening. You want to be on her mind from morning to morning.